So many things happening with so close intervals to each others, my nerves are grating and my mind probably isnt going to last much longer if this keeps up. I dont like this process of growing up. I just feel like staying in my comfort zone, and enjoying life while it lasts, but now..

Accepted into Imu. I guess half or 3/4 of my heart was hoping and expecting not to get in. That way I'd have no choice but to pick a course in Singapore and enjoy my time here, with friends, with family. So, after a really exhausting day of work, and a slight headache on the way home, you can imagine the feeling I had when I saw I got into IMU.. I was so happy when I saw it, but seconds later I felt like it had robbed me of many things, and then the ride home became ridiculously long, and stressful. The very opposite of what I was anticipating while I was at work -- I just wanted to go home and play a game of dota before having dinner and movie with my family and everything.

No dota when I got home. Obviously. Complicated evening ensued, which I will not elaborate on because I feel it's personal. Then had a talk with my dad and he said I should just go for it, because it determines the next 30 years of my life or more and that he wanted me to be doing smth that I like and smth that can support myself without having to think a lot on financial problems. Said I could fly back once or twice every month if I wanted to since it was just in msia, but when I go to uk, then it'll be a different story.

So now Im thinking, why on earth do I have a job now, when Im supposed to be enjoying my time in Singapore?? But I cant quit now because I just signed up. Moreover there's no one free now. The girls are studying till May sometime, chuw's got a job too but hey, he's studying and working in Singapore. Kay Rui's gone, Ben Cheng's in the army, so that leaves Jordan and Kia Yeow. I could go out everyday, but I'd need to spend too so that's probably not such a good idea. So. Im gonna work till May, and then Im done with this. I need time to enjoy what's around me, the people around me, the atmosphere around me, the places. After that I'll try to come back once a month over weekends during semesters, and for the entire duration of my holidays if possible. That way I'd get to spend more time with family and meet up with friends and have slpovers^^ hahah!

I dont know how people go overseas and study so easily. Really made me think about so many things and realise how much more I need to cherish every little thing around me. Esp my family and friends. So many people went overseas just like that, mel, mian yu, kay rui, ethel, pris, mich, bertrand, and soon kia yeow as well. All this SHT NEVER existed when I was in Primary School and Secondary School, and even Junior College, but suddenly the whole damn world is splitting in 2. Everyone going everywhere and breaking things everywhere, and now Im going down the same path. Why on earth couldnt I just get into a local med school..

Either way, will try to meet up with xn aijing they all once a month if possible, if I can come back every month, and maybe Chuw and jordan as well. If only I could meet kay rui once a month, but that's impossible. If I cant meet them then maybe I'll skype them. Fml. Resorting to skype.. Better than nothing, really.. Whole life turning inside out and upside down it feels..