Spend the whole day as secluded as I could. Needed to think things straight, and I've finally gotten my answer.

Im still going to treat her exactly the same way that I have always have, just that I now know that we'll never be together. Im going to like someone else eventually, and that will change what I think of today. I'll treasure the relationship between us, but right now, I cant change the way I treat her. But time will. I'll treat her like I always have, jokes and cute stuff and everything, I'll refrain from anything too affectionate, I wont think too much into things, and I definitely will not cut her off because she means a lot to me. 10 Years down the road when Im married, I think I would have changed and accepted her as a friend. It'll be weird when she has a family, but things will handle itself, I believe. I got a feeling if I keep dwelling on this, Im going to drop back into that same hole again, and then i'll have to grapple my way out all over again, so, as much as I need time to be alone and handle all this, I need time to be with people also, so I can take things lighter. She still hasnt replied my text yet, but she's landed ages ago, that much I know, but hey, we're friends now, I wont expect such things any longer. The wretched feeling inside isnt gone, that's for sure, but I will keep it at bay until it goes away. Since I cant change her mind, I'll have to change mine. Im going to sink back in if I continue, so I wont. Let's talk about today.

Got to the office, ran into Zhong Jun. Frankly didnt feel like saying anything, but we're buddies, so I smiled, and said yo. Did some work, then Larry called, went for a decent breakfast where I dropped my waffle after eating half of it =.= Larry wont listen much, he just gives advice a lot, not really what I needed, but anw, breakfast.

Got back to the office, finished up a bit of work. Off to my bunk. Locked the room door, sang, thought, felt, slept. Repeat. Wanted to blast music, but look:

You've got a friend in me
Gone Gone Gone
You're Beautiful
Your Heart Will Lead you Home
All of Me
Sweater Weather
Good life
Shadow
Somebody that I used to Know
When I was your Man
Thinking out Loud
All of the Stars
You Gave me Love

It was like saying: Hey how about you fall back into that shit you just tried to crawl out of. Freaking mocking me. My bloody playlist, mocking me. Time to sleep. Lol. That was it. Slept, from 1030 to 1230, chose to skip lunch, slept to 230. Woke up, went for a solo trip to the canteen and bought some food and a drink, thought again, lunch. Went back to office, superiors all gone home alr. 3plus for crying out loud. Talked to a Canadian friend, he's a really good listener, and advisor at the end of things. Knows most of my issues, told him about things before they happened and he was preparing me for it. Obviously not well enough, if I could prepare for something like this then it probably wasnt real. Talked, watched some anime. Time to go home, now here I am. Meeting Kay Rui and Chuw Teck in 45mins, better start changing. Life moves on. Because if I choose to stay here and contemplate, I'll just sink again, and really.. there's nothing I can do to change her mind, so there is not even any hope left. Why wait and feel all this when you cant change it? Maybe one day it will, you'll never know, but right now? Time to move on. I've got friends waiting for me, I've got my future waiting for me. Time to jump at things.